Liz Kitchens

Be brave. Lose the beige.

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The Sisterhood of the Poker Group

October 20, 2011 By Liz Kitchens Leave a Comment

I like to say I was Jewish for eleven years. I was married in a synagogue and my children were named by a rabbi. Having a Jewish identity is a source of pride to them. Even though my husband got custody of — and excuse the double meaning — the Temple when we divorced, my history gave me the “street cred” to join a Jewish poker group. There are six of us in it and we have been meeting once a month for seventeen years to play what we loosely describe as “poker.”

Now just because two of the women are doctors, two are lawyers, one a stockbroker, and me (the market researcher, art director, clay writer), it doesn’t mean anyone has a clue about what beats what in this insipid game. The constant query is, “Does five of a kind beat a royal straight flush?” This speaks volumes about the kind of game we play— the more wild cards, the better.

Sometimes I grumble and threaten to whip things up a bit by saying I’m tired of playing what passes as poker. But the one thing I won’t ever propose changing is our gathering together. The original impetus for organizing the group was to form a kind of minyan, which in Hebrew is a gathering (which is ironic, since according to Jewish law, only men can be a part of the ten required to constitute a minyan for a prayer service.)

Our version of the minyan resembles more of a sisterhood. To say we achieved this goal would be an understatement. Since first getting together, we have shared one marriage, seven births, a conversion from Catholic to Jewish and straight to gay, five bar and bat mitzvahs, one 60th and five 50th birthdays. We kvetch and kvell (complain and brag) about our partners, children, and each other.

I spent the past weekend at a b’nai mitzvah (“b’nai” is for two) for twins of Maxine. As I watched them read their Torah portions and chant the Haftorah, I recalled a visit by the PGG (poker group girls) to the hospital where Maxine was confined for a month during her pregnancy. We came carrying the three Cs — Chinese food, Cards, and Chips (the poker variety).

The PGG were honored participants in the b’nai mitzvah service, supporting the canopy under which the service was held. The longevity of our group has made us somewhat notorious (fun at 57 to be considered notorious). I catch murmurings of “Oh, she’s in the poker group.” Other friends have commented, “Someone will have to die before anyone else can join the poker group.” That makes me feel special.

Our families will gather at the beach over Memorial Day weekend as we have for the past ten plus years. All the kids and grandchildren, ranging in age from 1 to 46, will belong to each of us. They, like us, have come to know that comfortable familiarity of belonging to a large extended family. Whatever you subscribe to any religion or not, what we all long for is that sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves. Jewish or not, my poker group provides that sense of community and acceptance for me.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: jewish, poker group, sisterhood, women

Creativity Relieves Boredom

October 13, 2011 By Liz Kitchens Leave a Comment

My company is called ideaLizms. Aside from being clay sculptures I have created, ideaLizms are intended to inspire and encourage people to live their lives creatively and with fun.  This may sound like an intimidating concept to some, but the bottom line is this – creativity relieves boredom. 

Don’t you find it to be excruciatingly boring to make the same recipe over and over again?  To drive the same route each day?  Eating the same food for breakfast each morning?  (I can barely stand to brush my teeth in the same place each day) Some believe creativity is all about creating beautiful art and music.  Creativity is also about taking the drudgery out of every day tasks. 

Try varying one task you routinely do each day.   Let me know how it feels.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: boredom, creativity, routines, women

Psychic Refreshments

September 24, 2011 By Liz Kitchens Leave a Comment

Lady Boomers wear a lot of hats.  One of the hats I wear is that of market researcher.  I conduct focus groups, talking with women around the country about various issues facing their families and communities.  This week I was in Winston Salem, North Carolina talking with 11 women about the economic recession and its impact upon their families.  Now, I have to say, I’ve worked in this field since 1986, starting the day after the Challenger exploded, gauging the public’s pulse on political and environmental issues, 9/11, and a variety of other social and economic issues.  In all the studies I’ve conducted throughout these years, I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a more depressed and disillusioned group of women. 

I initiated our interaction with the following question: .  “There has been a lot of discussion in the media about the state of the economy.  They suggest we are in a recession.  What do you think?  How is the current state of the economy affecting you?”  Just the faces I beheld alone should have signaled me what I was in for.  The stories I heard..the foreclosures endured; the adult children boomeranging home; the grandchildren they are raising; the lay-offs; the lack of access to health care; pension plan and retirement anxieties;  banks rejecting credit applications.  The list was interminable. 

 The name of my blog is  “Be Brave. Lose the Beige”.  I’ve written and illustrated a journal/book by the same name.  Be Brave. Lose the Beige is not just about color (although I love color, the more the better), it is really about women’s creative empowerment.  BBLB urges women to discover their own colorful spirits, to say yes when the world around us says no.  This may sound a little pollyannaish after all I heard last night, but I believe nourishing our spirits is more important than ever.    Families are emotionally and financially down right now.  Women- Moms, daughters, wives and friends tend to bear the brunt of these anxieties.  So, ladies, if you have found yourself in this position, carving out a little time and space for yourselves is essential.  The way to achieve this is vast and varied.  Here are a few suggestions…

 -exercise your creativity.  This can take many forms- gardening; baking; sculpting/drawing; singing

-creating a spiritual practice- whether it be church, temple, or Quaker meeting house, silence and contemplation enables you to hear your real self speaking

– journal writing..meet your real self in your writing and musing

-an artist’s date- go solo to window shop (no shopping goals allowed), see a movie, wander a museum or gallery

Routinely engaging in any or all of these practices will help you will feel psychically refreshed, which is what you are going to need amid this time of recession and depression. 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: creativity, empowerment, recession, women

Exercise your Creativity

September 11, 2011 By Liz Kitchens Leave a Comment

“Every child is an artist.  The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”  Picasso.

 Our lives have been a linear sequence of education, work, babies, minivans, college tuition, and care-taking.   There is no question the joy imbued in these stages is irreplaceable.  But somewhere in this process it’s easy to lose parts of ourselves.  We begin turning beige as color and joy seep away due to endless responsibilities and obligations.  What about applying our overdeveloped sense of work ethic to discovering our own colorful spirits?  I have just the prescription for curing beigedom….It’s called creativity.

The very word “creativity” can elicit fear and intimidation in grown women.  (It’s really interesting observing a child’s reaction to creativity versus an adult’s.  Children readily and eagerly embrace this concept, while adults, many years removed from this playful time in their lives, shy away from it.)  Creativity is such a misunderstood concept.  Anyone and  everyone can choose to live more creatively.  Trying a new recipe can be creative.  Getting dressed in the morning can be a creative act.  Creativity is not just about participating in the visual or performing arts, it’s a way of thinking about and approaching your life, a way of viewing the world.  It’s owning your own life rather than letting circumstances or other people own you.

So, if you don’t view yourself as creative per se but recognize some merit in the concept, how do you go about cultivating this quality?  My suggestion is..try “exercising your creative muscles”.

Exercising your creative muscles can be accomplished in a variety of ways, some of which include….

-planting a swath of backyard dirt with a garden filled with colorful flowers or aromatic herbs
-dusting off your guitar or piano keys and taking music lessons
– collaging a few family photographs
-taking a pottery class..clay is a wonderful teacher, it comes from the ground and grounds those who touch it. 
-subscribing to Cooking Light and experimenting with new cooking and baking recipes
-playing dress up in your own closet coordinating old favorites with new styles.

Flexing those creative muscles will definitely make them stronger and more defined.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: colorful, creativity, exercise, women

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