Liz Kitchens

Be brave. Lose the beige.

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Death’s Ripple Effect

August 4, 2017 By Liz Kitchens 3 Comments

My father-in-law, though never personally impacted, used to say something was wrong in the world when a parent outlived a child. He said he never wanted to be a member of such an exclusive club.

Our nephew, his grandson, died this week at the age of 47. David is (I can’t bring myself yet to say “was”) the son of my husband’s brother and sister in law. His passing leaves behind a wife of 25 years and two college-aged daughters. Mary, Kelsey, and Emily comprise his immediate family. They lived through his six-year battle (although at times it felt like a full on war) to hold his cancer at bay. This past spring his sweet girls surprised their parents with a trip to the Dominican Republic for a wedding vow renewal ceremony. The event was a demonstration of hope for the future of this man and his family… now it will go in to their arsenal of precious memories.

Punta Cana wedding

Kitchens Family Vow Renewal

I’ve been thinking of the domino effect caused by a death. It’s like the proverbial ripple effect from a stone thrown into a body of water or more aptly the seismic waves emanating from the epicenter of an earthquake. The initial impact is at the center, the nucleus- the nuclear family. Then come the ripples- David’s parents and sister are left to struggle with this loss, people who have known him all his days. Their brothers, sisters, husband, and children who not only love David, but grieve for the pain of their parents and siblings. Followed by cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts and uncles, and an array of friends who comprise outer ripples in this sea of love.

family members at funeral

Extended Family Members

My husband and I, my step-son and his wife, are members of the outer band of ripples and waves. We have fretted for years about the impact of the stress and strain of this ugly illness on Joe and Sue, David’s parents. At the funeral service I overheard low whispers of – ”But for the grace of God there go I”.

family

Joe and Sue Kitchens

I don’t know and don’t want to anticipate how I would handle the loss of one of my children or grandchildren. It’s an exclusive club to which I don’t want to ever be a member. It defies the natural order of life. I don’t know how David’s family will cope with their loss.   All I do know, however, after observing the Standing Room Only crowd at the funeral service, is that there are a lot of ripples emanating from the epicenter of that Kitchens Clan and a lot of love. So much love. I am hoping that love and support from those ripples can carry them through.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: death, family, premature death, ripples

Comments

  1. Cryptocurrency-brokers says

    November 14, 2017 at 1:59 am

    Wow, this was a top quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too, taking time and real effort to make a good article.

    Reply
    • Liz Kitchens says

      November 14, 2017 at 11:21 am

      Thank you for your kind comment

      Reply
  2. smith kerry says

    July 11, 2018 at 5:37 am

    You got a really useful blog I have been here reading for about an hour. I am a newbie and your success is very much an inspiration for me.

    Reply

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